muses.thoughts.loves

2012-01-14T21:27:00.002+08:00

Simple math
Our love divided by the square root of pride
Multiply your lies plus time
I'm going out of my mind
It was heavy when I finally figured
It out alone

I didn't get it the first time
But don't think I've been so blind
And I may not be Einstein but I know

Dumb plus dumb equals you
Dumb plus dumb equals you
Dumb plus dumb equals you

Even had the nerve to flirt with her in front of my face
Here's your keys, your bags, your clothes and now get out of my place
You say I'm crazy, and that we're happy
Is that supposed to comfort me?

I didn't get it the first time
But don't think I've been so blind
Yeah I may not be unstopped
But I know
Dumb plus dumb equals you
Dumb plus dumb equals you

All of your promises, flushed
A thousand apologies, just
Take out the pain and let it leaves us
With nothing at all, no, nothing at all

You can stop wasting my time
Without you I'm just fine
Why did it take me so long to figure out
Dumb plus dumb equals you, equals you

I didn't get it the first time
Don't think I'd be so blind
Yeah I may not be unstopped
But I know

Dumb plus dumb equals you, equals you

Simple math
Our love divided by the square root of pride
Multiply your lifeless time
I'm going out of my mind
And I may not be unstopped
But I know Dumb plus dumb equals you, equals you

2011-12-01T00:06:00.003+08:00

letting go.

never easy but maybe its necessary...

maybe this time we should let live..

2011-11-24T00:49:00.001+08:00

Let's be thankful! <3

It's thanksgiving this thursday (24th Nov) -hmm the thought of it makes me wanna go eat turkey actually- okok getting back to thksgiving, I just feel tremendously grateful for the past 1 year...

I mean God has been really so good to me this year(as with every year) and I just wanna thank Him so much:)

I travelled a lot this year (Hongkong, Bali, Melbourne) which I'm so thkful cos I love love love traveling...who doesn't?!

I'm thankful for my family:) which I thk God cos I have never remembered us this close ever since im a kid. This year has been awesome seeing my family coming together *muacks* through thick & thin, we'll always have our family there:)

I'm thankful when I see how God made almost all the goals I set out for this year come to pass (note: It amazes me cos I never intentionally made an effort to see to it and fulfill each of my goals but it all just came to pass 1 by 1, slowly and surely)

I thank God that my mates J&B have a healthy handsome boy-Liam whom I so adore to bits! So happy n proud of them:)

I thank God for the tough times when I felt like giving up cos it made me stronger and wiser.

I thank God for every beautiful day I can live:) cherished.

Thank you and thank You:)

Love,
Mad

2011-11-23T00:15:00.001+08:00

I'm not that weak girl who can't lose anything...why do I have to be the one fighting for it each time?

If I'm not worth fighting for then its worthless to begin at all...

2011-11-22T21:27:00.001+08:00

Destination happiness

Wishes i can arrive when I open my eyes next.

2011-11-22T15:36:00.008+08:00

The great barrier reef

oh yes i really need a trip like this - http://asia.contiki.com/destinations/australia/tours/57-learn-to-dive#

i miss diving, miss the feeling of being with the fishes in the deep ocean...i wanna travel again...this time all by myself:)

great barrier reef see u soon!

2011-11-21T22:48:00.004+08:00

sick & tired. sick & tired. sick & tired...so sick & tired of this incredible nonsense.I'm out of here.either u lose your pride or you lose it all.

2011-11-19T22:00:00.003+08:00

HONEST SAYINGS...

I wish I could feel something but sadly I couldn't..
I wish I would just lose my pride but I shouldn't..
History always repeat itself...
Tough times never last but tough people do:)

2011-10-11T00:51:00.006+08:00

Crab Glorious Crab!

Firstly, i wanna say i am actually allergic to seafood(basically prawns, crabs, shelled-like stuff..etc.) But my love for crabs will make me risk having itching throat & lips and devoured them at all cost!!! muahaha

So on sunday, to welcome steve to sg and to bring him for some local dishes, i found this little gem - TIAN JIN HAI 天金海 - at the corner of alkaff avenue. Honestly, when i arrive at the place i was shock to see an old & run-down coffee shop (it was my first time to the place you see..)

It wasn't exactly what i was expecting plus there were pretty good online reviews about it and the chef was award winning, featured on several local tv food shows and magazines and even Anthony Bourdain ate there before!

But since we were already there, fingers-X, we ordered anyways and hope for the best...

What greeted us shortly dismissed every notion of skepticism in me. i was humbled by the almighty crab. Check it out!

Chili Crab. heavenly~

Crab Bee Hoon Soup. the stock was dope

Singaporeans Fave "Black Pepper Crab". Spicy. Hot. Finger-lickin goooood

I would definitely go back there again because it was so good and not too expensive (in comparison to Mellban, East Coast..etc.)

We had 3 different types of crab, 1 fried squid(which was really awesome but i forgot to take pictures!!!!!), 1 stirred fried kangkong, 3 bottle of beer = $170++ for 4 pax. works out to be about $40++ per person, not too bad huh.

BUT sadly :( the boss says they are closing down soon because the location is bad and people don't really know where they have shifted, previously they were at the old jackson coffeeshop(demolished) , settled at pongggol marina country club then moved to zion food center and presently at alkaff ave which is just next to jackson.

So go check it out before they close for good and savor the crabs! :)

TIAN JIN HAI SEAFOOD 天金海

16, upper serangoon road, alkaff avenue (next to old jackson market)

9021 9396

Opens daily from 10am - 11pm

2011-09-10T00:30:00.007+08:00

one quick sting..then its over..hopefully..

I don't know what I was thinking,
You were no good but you could do some fancy talking
I know your tricks and delight for a Gumball Machine
You can keep you quarter man
'Cause you won't get nothing sweet out of me

I'm quitting, quitting, quitting, I'm quitting you
Like a girl wants her chocolate, yeah,
I know that I'll miss you
But I'm quitting, quitting, quitting,
I'm not kidding I'm kicking you,
Cause you're my bad habit
And I'm quitting you

I don't know what the heck you're thinking
It's gonna, gonna take a better man,
I bettin, to win my hand,
I'm not gonna play your game,
I don't like the high stakes,
I'd rather sit alone at home
Than one more round of old maid

I'm quitting, quitting, quitting, I'm quitting you
Like a gambler leaving Vegas,
Boy, you know that I'll miss you
But I'm quitting, quitting, quitting,
I'm not kidding I'm kicking you,
Cause you're my bad habit
And I'm quitting

Cold turkey giving you the cold shoulder
Off like a band-aid
one quick sting, then it's over

I'm quitting, quitting, quitting,
I'm not kidding I'm kicking you,
Cause you're my bad habit
And the good Lord won't have it,
You're my bad habit
And I'm quitting you, you, yeah yeah yeah

lyrics by the band perry

2011-09-08T23:12:00.004+08:00

Whizzy frizzy thursie

;) a lil stress with project.. alright gonna share this song with you guys! i love it to the max :)

If i die young by Band Perry

2011-08-29T23:28:00.004+08:00

What i'm listening

Ok guys, been really captivated by il volo - a classical trio made up of 3 boys aged 16-17..they are cute, talented and truly gifted..enough of me raving hahaa..listen and enjoy!

2011-08-29T23:13:00.003+08:00

An Interview with Mother Teresa

"i never knew Jesus was all i needed until Jesus was all i have"

(This is an excerpt of one of the last interviews with Mother Teresa conducted by Edward W. Desmond in 1989 for Time magazine)

Time: What did you do this morning?

Mother Teresa: Pray.

Time: When did you start?

Mother Teresa: Half-past four

Time: And after prayer

Mother Teresa: We try to pray through our work by doing it with Jesus, for Jesus, to Jesus. That helps us to put our whole heart and soul into doing it. The dying, the cripple, the mental, the unwanted, the unloved they are Jesus in disguise.

Time: People know you as a sort of religious social worker. Do they understand the spiritual basis of your work?

Mother Teresa: I don't know. But I give them a chance to come and touch the poor. Everybody has to experience that. So many young people give up everything to do just that. This is something so completely unbelievable in the world, no? And yet it is wonderful. Our volunteers go back different people.

Time: Does the fact that you are a woman make your message more understandable?

Mother Teresa: I never think like that.

Time: But don't you think the world responds better to a mother?

Mother Teresa: People are responding not because of me, but because of what we're doing. Before, people were speaking much about the poor, but now more and more people are speaking to the poor. That's the great difference. The work has created this. The presence of the poor is known now, especially the poorest of the poor, the unwanted, the loved, the uncared-for. Before, nobody bothered about the people in the street. We have picked up from the streets of Calcutta 54,000 people, and 23,000 something have died in that one room [at Kalighat].

Time: Why have you been so successful?

Mother Teresa: Jesus made Himself the bread of life to give us life. That's where we begin the day, with Mass. And we end the day with Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. I don't think that I could do this work for even one week if I didn't have four hours of prayer every day.

Time: Humble as you are, it must be an extraordinary thing to be a vehicle of God's grace in the world.

Mother Teresa: But it is His work. I think God wants to show His greatness by using nothingness.

Time: You are nothingness?

Mother Teresa: I'm very sure of that.

Time: You feel you have no special qualities?

Mother Teresa: I don't think so. I don't claim anything of the work. It's His work. I'm like a little pencil in His hand. That's all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do it. The pencil has only to be allowed to be used. In human terms, the success of our work should not have happened, no? That is a sign that it's His work, and that He is using others as instruments - all our Sisters. None of us could produce this. Yet see what He has done.

Time: What is God's greatest gift to you?

Mother Teresa: The poor people.

Time: How are they a gift?

Mother Teresa: I have an opportunity to be with Jesus 24 hours a day.

Time: Here in Calcutta, have you created a real change?

Mother Teresa: I think so. People are aware of the presence and also many, many, many Hindu people share with us. They come and feed the people and they serve the people. Now we never see a person lying there in the street dying. It has created a worldwide awareness of the poor.

Time: Beyond showing the poor to the world, have you conveyed any message about how to work with the poor?

Mother Teresa: You must make them feel loved and wanted. They are Jesus for me. I believe in that much more than doing big things for them.

Time: What's your greatest hope here in India?

Mother Teresa: To give Jesus to all.

Time: But you do not evangelize in the conventional sense of the term.

Mother Teresa: I'm evangelizing by my works of love.

Time: Is that the best way?

Mother Teresa: For us, yes. For somebody else, something else. I'm evangelizing the way God wants me to. Jesus said go and preach to all the nations. We are now in so many nations preaching the Gospel by our works of love. "By the love that you have for one another will they know you are my disciples." That's the preaching that we are doing, and I think that is more real.

Time: Friends of yours say that you are disappointed that your work has not brought more conversions in this great Hindu nation.

Mother Teresa: Missionaries don't think of that. They only want to proclaim the Word of God. Numbers have nothing to do with it. But the people are putting prayer into action by coming and serving the people. Continually people are coming to feed and serve, so many, you go and see. Everywhere people are helping. We don't know the future. But the door is already open to Christ. There may not be a big conversion like that, but we don't know what is happening in the soul.

Time: What do you think of Hinduism?

Mother Teresa: I love all religions, but I am in love with my own. No discussion. That's what we have to prove to them. Seeing what I do, they realize that I am in love with Jesus.

Time: And they should love Jesus too?

Mother Teresa: Naturally, if they want peace, if they want joy, let them find Jesus. If people become better Hindus, better Moslems, better Buddhists by our acts of love, then there is something else growing there. They come closer and closer to God. When they come closer, they have to choose.

Time: You and John Paul II, among other Church leaders, have spoken out against certain lifestyles in the West, against materialism and abortion. How alarmed are you?

Mother Teresa: I always say one thing: If a mother can kill her own child, then what is left of the West to be destroyed? It is difficult to explain , but it is just that.

Time: When you spoke at Harvard University a few years ago, you said abortion was a great evil and people booed. What did you think when people booed you?

Mother Teresa: I offered it to our Lord. It's all for Him, no? I let Him say what He wants.

Time: But these people who booed you would say that they also only want the best for women?

Mother Teresa: That may be. But we must tell the truth.

Time: And that is?

Mother Teresa: We have no right to kill. Thou shalt not kill, a commandment of God. And still should we kill the helpless one, the little one? You see we get so excited because people are throwing bombs and so many are being killed. For the grown ups, there is so much excitement in the world. But that little one in the womb, not even a sound? He cannot even escape. That child is the poorest of the poor.

Time: Is materialism in the West an equally serious problem?

Mother Teresa: I don't know. I have so many things to think about. I pray lots about that, but I am not occupied by that. Take our congregation for example, we have very little, so we have nothing to be preoccupied with. The more you have, the more you are occupied, the less you give. But the less you have the more free you are. Poverty for us is a freedom. It is not a mortification, a penance. It is joyful freedom. There is no television here, no this, no that. This is the only fan in the whole house. It doesn't matter how hot it is, and it is for the guests. But we are perfectly happy.

Time: How do you find rich people then?

Mother Teresa: I find the rich much poorer. Sometimes they are more lonely inside. They are never satisfied. They always need something more. I don't say all of them are like that. Everybody is not the same. I find that poverty hard to remove. The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.

Time: What is the saddest place you've ever visited?

Mother Teresa: I don't know. I can't remember. It's a sad thing to see people suffer., especially the broken family, unloved, uncared for. It's a big sadness; it's always the children who suffer most when there is no love in the family. That's a terrible suffering. Very difficult because you can do nothing. That is the great poverty. You feel helpless. But if you pick up a person dying of hunger, you give him food and it is finished.

Time: Why has your order grown so quickly?

Mother Teresa: When I as young people why they want to join us, they say they want the life of prayer, the life of poverty and the life of service to the poorest of the poor. One very rich girl wrote to me and said for a very long time she had been longing to become a nun. When she met us, she said I won't have to give up anything even if I give up everything. You see, that is the mentality of the young today. We have many vocations.

Time: There's been some criticism of the very severe regimen under which you and your Sisters live.

Mother Teresa: We chose that. That is the difference between us and the poor. Because what will bring us closer to our poor people? How can we be truthful to them if we lead a different life? If we have everything possible that money can give, that the world can give, then what is our connection to the poor? What language will I speak to them? Now if the people tell me it is so hot, I can say you come and see my room.

Time: Just as hot?

Mother Teresa: Much hotter even, because there is a kitchen underneath. A man came and stayed here as a cook at the children's home. He was rich before and became very poor. Lost everything. He came and said, "Mother Teresa, I cannot eat that food." I said, "I am eating it every day." He looked at me and said, "You eat it too? All right, I will eat it also." And he left perfectly happy. Now if I could not tell him the truth, that man would have remained bitter. He would never have accepted his poverty. He would never have accepted to have that food when he was used to other kinds of food. That helped him to forgive, to forget.

Time: What's the most joyful place that you have ever visited?

Mother Teresa: Kalighat. When the people die in peace, in the love of God, it is a wonderful thing. To see our poor people happy together with their families, these are beautiful things. The real poor know what is joy.

Time: There are people who would say that it's an illusion to think of the poor as joyous, that they must be given housing, raised up.

Mother Teresa: The material is not the only thing that gives joy. Something greater than that, the deep sense of peace in the heart. They are content. That is the great difference between rich and poor.

Time: But what about those people who are oppressed? Who are taken advantage of?

Mother Teresa: There will always be people like that. That is why we must come and share the joy of loving with them.

Time: Should the Church's role be just to make the poor as joyous in Christ as they can be made?

Mother Teresa: You and I, we are the Church, no? We have to share with our people. Suffering today is because people are hoarding, not giving, not sharing. Jesus made it very clear. Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do it to me. Give a glass of water, you give it to me. Receive a little child, you receive me. Clear.

Time: If you speak to a political leader who could do more for his people, do you tell him that he must do better?

Mother Teresa: I don't say it like that. I say share the joy of loving with your people. Because a politician maybe cannot do the feeding as I do. But he should be clear in his mind to give proper rules and proper regulations to help his people.

Time: It is my job to keep politicians honest, and your job to share joy with the poor.

Mother Teresa: Exactly. And it is to be for the good of the people and the glory of God. This will be really fruitful. Like a man says to me that you are spoiling the people by giving them fish to eat. You have to give them a rod to catch the fish. And I said my people cannot even stand, still less hold a rod. But I will give them the fish to eat, and when they are strong enough, I will hand them over to you. And you give them the rod to catch the fish. That is a beautiful combination, no?

Time: Feminist Catholic nuns sometimes say that you should pour your energy into getting the Vatican to ordain women.

Mother Teresa: That does not touch me.

Time: What do you think of the feminist movement among nuns in the West?

Mother Teresa: I think we should be more busy with our Lord than with all that, more busy with Jesus and proclaiming His Word. What a woman can give, no man can give. That is why God has created them separately. Nuns, women, any woman. Woman is created to be the heart of the family, the heart of love. If we miss that, we miss everything. They give that love in the family or they give it in service, that is what their creation is for.

Time: The world wants to know more about you.

Mother Teresa: No, no. Let them come to know the poor. I want them to love the poor. I want them to try to find the poor in their own families first, to bring peace and joy and love in the family first.

Time: Malcolm Muggeridge once said that if you had not become a Sister and not found Christ's love, you would be a very hard woman. Do you think that is true?

Mother Teresa: I don't know. I have no time to think about these things.

Time: People who work with you say that you are unstoppable. You always get what you want.

Mother Teresa: That's right. All for Jesus.

Time: And if they have a problem with that?

Mother Teresa: For example, I went to a person recently who would not give me what I needed. I said God bless you, and I went on. He called me back and said what would you say if I give you that thing. I said I will give you a "God bless you" and a big smile. That is all. So he said then come, I will give it to you. We must live the simplicity of the Gospel.

Time: You once met Haile Mariam Mengistu, the much feared communist leader of Ethiopia and an avowed atheist. You asked him if he said his prayers. Why did you risk that?

Mother Teresa: He is one more child of God. When I went to China, one of the top officials asked me, "What is a communist to you?" I said, "A child of God." Then the next morning the newspapers reported that Mother Teresa said communists are children of God. I was happy because after a long, long time the name God was printed in the papers in China. Beautiful.

Time: Are you ever been afraid?

Mother Teresa: No, I am only afraid of offending God. We are all human beings, that is our weakness, no? The devil would do anything to destroy us, to take us away from Jesus.

Time: Where do you see the devil at work?

Mother Teresa: Everywhere. When a person is longing to come closer to God he puts temptation in the way to destroy the desire. Sin comes everywhere, in the best of places.

Time: What is your greatest fear?

Mother Teresa: I have Jesus, I have no fear.

Time: What is your greatest disappointment?

Mother Teresa: I do the will of God, no? In doing the will of God there is no disappointment.

Time: Do your work and spiritual life become easier with time?

Mother Teresa: Yes, the closer we come to Jesus, the more we become the work. Because you know to whom you are doing it, with whom you are doing it and for whom you are doing it. That is very clear. That is why we need a clean heart to see God.

Time: What are your plans for the future?

Mother Teresa: I just take one day. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not come. We have only today to love Jesus.

Time: And the future of the order?

Mother Teresa: It is His concern.

2011-08-29T22:59:00.005+08:00

Updates!

Woah its been such a long time since i last posted something on this soon-to-be dormant blog..i feel quite funny "picking up my pen" and type away...hmm honestly i'm at loss of what to update here really and i applaud those bloggers that can faithfully blog all the time and find all the interesting stuff to share...

Im quite a boring person! seriously! (which i'm sure u have realize by now from reading my post hahaa) All the stuff i share are like quotes/books/music/quotes..more books and music... -.-

Alright anyways, school has started for a while now and I'm really enjoying every bit of being a student again :) I just pray i can get As or HD for my subjects, not trying to be competitive but its just something i wanna do to prove to myself i can do it too!:)

So i read a very interesting interview of Mother Theresa recently and i thought it would be great to share with you guys and be bless by it, i am, i was and i pray you will too :) *next entry*

Okie its a public holiday tomorrow and so happy holidays everyone in spore!

xoxo

Mad

2011-05-06T00:08:00.005+08:00

BEAUTY HAUL

i know i seldom write abt wad i used or buy but just thought it will be fun to share about some really good stuff i jus bought today! well good things ought to be shared right? ;)

#1. Essential Hair Mask
i bought the ultra honey and butter rich premier from SaSa @ $9.90...
after using, my hair felt really soft and smells yummy too cos of the shea butter, really made my ruffy hair(from all the daily blowing) looks much manageable now..

#2. Clarins Day Screen High Protection

original price: $74, SaSa gives pretty good 20% discounts..ended up paying only $59

ok i hasnt exactly use it yet but i've heard alot about clarins daily sunblock..cos i begin to realise the importance of putting on sun screen even when you think u're not exactly under the sun, its not gonna hurt..but it does! And its impt to get at least 20 spf..

Since alot of celebrities swear by this and its also one of Woman's Weekly best beauty buy 2011 recommended products, i decided to get it!!

thats all girls! till the next post...<3

2011-03-28T12:28:00.002+08:00

Will you ever know what lies ahead if you never dare venture beyond the possibility of finding for yourselves what "beyond" is.

I watched a movie called the adjustment bureau recently, it talks about a "bureau" who helps keeps us on track in the plans that the "chairman" has wrote for us. Its a very fascinating show which i can really identify as a christian, the theme of God and predestination runs strongly thruout this movie. those really interested u can click on tis link http://www.theadjustmentbureau.com/

I enjoyed it thoroughly and it left me thinking for awhile ...in the show matt damon's character - David Norris fell in love with e female lead however according to the plan, there are not suppose to be an item..to cut the whole story short, David fought against the plan and choose to be with her risking what may be his future ahead(the president of united states), eventually their plans were rewritten by the "chairman" and they got together.

As a christian, i dont believe in predestination..and i know i have a God who loves me so much that my future is secure in His hands. Well i have been thinking about venturing beyond, to see what lies ahead for me, although i'm a little hesitant, i find safety in the bible which says the steps of a righteous are ordered by the Lord, i place my trust in Him and know His thoughts towards me are good and not evil, to give me a future and a hope :)

2011-03-16T15:06:00.004+08:00

im/perfect
*lyrics to Pink's song perfect, so apt..so imperfect yet im' perfect... :)

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less that perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're perfect to me

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that..?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby..!
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're perfect to me
You're perfect, you're perfect!
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than perfect
Pretty please, if you ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me....

2011-03-14T13:54:00.004+08:00

The Call - by Regina Skektor

the closing song for the movie Narnia - Prince Caspian, one of my favourite movies..

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

2011-03-14T13:44:00.002+08:00

Love the way you lie - orig. rendition by Skyla Grey
*current blog playlist*

On the first page of our story
The future seemed so bright
Then this thing turned out so evil
I don't know why i'm still surprised
Even angels have their wicked schemes
And you take that to new extremes
But you'll always be my hero
Even though you've lost your mind

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now there's gravel in our voices
Glasses shattered from the fight
In this tug of war you always win
Even when i'm right
Cos you feed me fables from your head
With violent words and empty threats
And it's sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

So maybe i'm a masochist
I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave
Til the walls are going up
In smoke with all our memories

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

2011-03-11T12:22:00.002+08:00

Nothing is decided about your life that you have not decided

- Paul Scanlon -

your life is not base on the decisions that others make/made or what they say about you, its base on what you think, act upon and its ultimately base on God's thoughts for you - and He says His thoughts towards us are good, to give us a future and a hope...

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jer 29:11

2011-03-10T00:27:00.002+08:00

Quarter life Thoughts - Human

You are so hard to grapple or understand
Always second-guessing, my thoughts and plans
Gone are the days when life is like a game of "happy family"
Simplicity and innocence rules the world
What you say is no longer what you mean
Just another pretty phrase to go on in the game

Like a joker in the deck of cards
Your face changes like an art
A poker-face without a heart

Maybe i think too much
Life is not a fluffy cloud
One or Two
As long their true
I don't need a crowd

2011-03-06T00:12:00.002+08:00

簡單。是幸福

:)

2011-03-04T22:41:00.004+08:00

Shout Out

Thought i jus give a "shout out" to U who seems to be reading my blog and to my surprise, u actually like it..thks for reading :) those are jus my thoughts n ramblings, my faith and life(ups & downs) and i'm glad u find it helpful in someways ;)

love!

2011-03-04T21:59:00.010+08:00

Its' not the end

i heard once, the greatest fear of man is not in death but in the fear of (other)man - the fear of what people will think, say, feel, act towards us or probably gossip abt us...very often we fear becos no one likes the feeling of rejection, everyone wants to feel accepted and to know that people are pleased/happy with us and when it doesnt, yes it is is a terrible feeling...

But it's not the end of everything, when people dont like us, its really not...

I hate to say this, people will not like you, i mean SOME people somehow, no matter what you do...we are bound to meet people whom we will never seem to get along or click, and sometimes we will fall into situations when people might misunderstand us or not like us...but its not the end of everything...its ok and we'll need to learn to live with it, cos to put it simply, this is life, at its most basic. :)

One of my greatest struggles and weakness is i constantly have to fight against this "fear of man", i am human, sometimes i know i'm a whimp cos i want to gain acceptance and for people to like me i become someone who gives in so easily, not knowing when to say no...i fall into this trap call the fear of man...i become so afraid to offend people or speak up, living constantly like a juggler walking on a thin wire line, afraid that i might just step on others and fall..

maybe you're just like me, but i have to learn too and to remind myself its not the end and its ok to not try to please everyone; and you cant please everyone! :)

However, im not saying we dont spare a thought for other in this pursuit of learning we cant please all men. Be kind, pursue the good but also know how to love yourself and dont live with this fear of men. Fear God but love people :)

the Psalm 118 says...

Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.
I called on the LORD in distress;
The LORD answered me and set me in a broad place.
⁶ The LORD is on my side;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?
⁷ The LORD is for me among those who help me;
Therefore I shall see my desire on those who hate me.
⁸ It is better to trust in the LORD
Than to put confidence in man.
⁹ It is better to trust in the LORD
Than to put confidence in princes.

Today is a new beginning; let's all start somewhere.
Let the word set you free and take off!

2010-11-24T22:51:00.002+08:00

Sighs & Wrinkles

Is it a sign of aging when very often of my time now i will be brought back into the memories my childhood, a slightest image or words can trigger that thought easily...and just before i wrote this post i was meddling with my home internet connection, and that brought me back to when i was just a primary school kid learning to explore the world wide web, eagerly awaiting to connect with the rest of the world as my modem makes funny noises..like "ZZeeezzzeeeee..Erreezzzzz..." almost an tune i could hum along...sometimes i cant seems to connect and wonder why, frustration besets me as i need to go online!!!! not to do research for science project but to chat with my friends on mIRC and my pets will be dying soon if i dont go onto pets society and feed them...

Oh a decade on, life is not what imagine it to be when i was day-dreaming what it will be like when i grow up..Ahhhh i can stay up as late as i want and dad & mum will no longer tell me what i should do...Yes it turns out really true..but no one informed me that the task will be pass on to someone called bosses or manager and i have to stay up as late as i DONT want! Geez...

2010-07-29T14:52:00.007+08:00

Berkeley updates that took forevermore...

Its been 3 and a half weeks since i step foot on the land of Golden Gate ~ San Francisco, the initial "overwhelmness", jetlagged, fears & excitement seems to have died down, but the "oohs & ahhs" never stopped, never will stop with every discovery of new stuff/sights/eats ard this lil town & city..

To think a month ago i was still planning & mulling over what to pack, flights to book, anticipating as each day inches close...
Now here i am in this place, it almost felt unreal..Life's here been really busy(enriched) with classes,projects, assignments, lil trips, seeing & doings never ending...Packed! is the word to describe it all cos like everyone else, i just wanna squeeze all the "see/do/experience" moments into a short 6-week summer!

Now i know why i cant really find much blogs(before i came) which talk about Berk exchange cos there's just not much time to blog..well hopefully U(whoever u are) find this helpful..

So just a lil update, no words..shall let the pictures speaks their thousands words on my behalf..enjoy!:)

Unit 2 residence hall

i'm staying@davidson :) A davidsonians..

my room..

Crossroads - where i have my meals..meals..n meals..

Go bears!

Meals are serve "buffet" style so its eat all u can which is deducted from our meal pts
Bf - 6pts/Lunch -7 pts/Dinner - 8pts which is money tt we paid for!!we all had 500pts n now i still left with 265 to spend in 2 weeks..help cos it quite hard to use up!

UC Berkeley

Vally Life Science Building
here's where i have my classes :)

Alright i shall post more photos in my next update! Stay tune :)

2010-06-29T17:43:00.003+08:00

Happy moments, i'll praise. Sad moments, i'll be thankful.

Packing my stuff and preparing for my 6weeks stint in Berkeley *a lil frown + smiles*
Wondering hows' life gonna be there? will i get use to it, i think so..i pray i will! Whats gonna happen there? maybe boring? hmm im sure there'll be adventures..or is it jus plain geek mod studying...hahaa..wonder and wondering on..

I feel my heart beating so fast, so excited or maybe alot more of apprehension involved..its a tug-of-war going on inside me..going there is a dream! I mean a DREAM guys! States, California, Berkeley! C'mon that is a dream or what?! *laughs* yet you know i'm a homely kinda girl, i'm so gonna miss home, my family, veroy n my beautiful friends and my church chc :)

Well there has gotta be once in our life that we allow ourselves to be reckless, thrust ourselves into the open field and see how far we can go ay? come what may.. :)

There's been alot going on my mind..well who doesnt but i like to remind myself that He is always with me walking every step of the way *smile* So come what may, happy moments, i'll praise, sing and shout my voices hoarse..and sad moments, i'll learn to be thankful :)

thkful for u :)

So its 2 more days to USA.

Praise and worship begins with a heart of gratitude.

2010-06-11T17:43:00.004+08:00

Turning 24 in 7 days

I never gave much thought about celebrating birthdays and all cos to me as long as i'm with love ones & friends.. thats enough for me:) whether its a simple meal, huge party(which is nt really my thing cos i hate to speak to everyone and of whom some i dont really know very well) or just a cake & happy birthday songs...

whichever, i seldom mind, cos i know if love is there then there's no lacking at all :)

Just days ago i was thinking about turning 24 (one thing abt growing older is to me jus a number n maybe its being around kids all day long, i dont really feel old.. "yeah let's jus wait ard and see how long u can feel that way!"), yes its hardly a big deal but then again i am inching nearer to my quarter-life milestone..which really "sat" me thinking literally..wow 24 good awesome hell of a time..what have i done?
The ability of time passing me by so fast amazes me greatly because i can still remember 17,18,19,20..and 21 came n aftwards it was like my life went on fast-forward mode..n here i am at 24..*let out a heave of air* sigh i mean...

At this "1 yr before-my-quarterlife-milestone" moment, i think what i really should do and really desire for myself is to be GRATEFUL...yes to be grateful!

Grate·ful
Pronunciation: \ˈgrāt-fəl\
1 a : appreciative of benefits received b : expressing gratitude
2 a : affording pleasure or contentment : pleasing b : pleasing by reason of comfort supplied or discomfort alleviated

To God, dear God thank you for giving me and bringing me through my 24yrs and loving me & giving me a life so free that Jesus has died to give me this..thru ups n downs u seen me through, dear God, i love you :)

Jesus, words can not express how much i love you and i am sealed with a sacred call. Unto You! i lift my praises n songs...

To my family(as dysfunctional as we may be) i am grateful that they are all safe and healthy. I am happy to know i have u around me..love mummy,papa...jie & ade.. :)

To my dearest friends u know who u're(as crazy,upset,selfish,self-centered, hard to get along i may be or u may be) i am grateful we still have each other and thank you for being there as always the lowest moment.
A true friend always show up at your lows and carry your burdens and u've been one!

To my funny,talented,sexy, smart, protector n best of friends in this entire world: Veroy:)
It will never be the same without u..never! Thank God for this friendship & love we shared, i am eternally grateful our paths crossed n fireworks crackled..

"Its you and me against the world my love :)"

i'm eternally blessed by you n sealed with a sacred kiss my friends

2010-06-03T13:17:00.003+08:00

A tipping point

there comes a time, when all is said and done
you watch, waiting for that tipping point
where everything spills like an unstoppable avalanche
the grandiose of it so great you could have never imagine
i await for that tipping point of our prayers & praise as it goes up to heaven as the sweetest aroma
Jesus' name will be so lifted high
the glory of it so bright we can never imagine.

i await for that tipping point:)

...In Christ, we're more than a conqueror...
So having done all, we stand & await!

2010-05-21T19:48:00.005+08:00

"him that i love, i wish to be free - even from me"

2010-04-14T18:15:00.019+08:00

Ponder.Reflect.Moving on

Its been a rather eventful & emotional week, with a sudden call on a early thursday morning i woke up in shock to know the sudden demise of Veroy's granny (nai nai we wld call her)...She was living strong at 72, a picture of bliss watching her children and grandchildren all grown up, she was enjoying the latter yrs of her life...Sadly life may have other plans for her, a fall took her away from us :(

what follow aft was a week of funeral procession and late nights...today marks the last day & the cremation but i cant help but ponder upon the many things that happens throughout the past weeks..

Its times like these you'll find yourself reflecting more about life and its purpose, its times like these we learnt to cherish our love ones more and forgive much..its times like these we know we can do better as a daughter/son/mother/father...and its times like these we learn to trust in the sovereignty of God

The fragility of life often catches us unaware...and what is in life that we seek after?

I have been reading a book "Have a little faith" by Mitch Albom entailing his amazing journey to discover his Jewish faith once again when his childhood rabbi asked him one day "will you do my eulogy"This was a true story and one that touches me deeply, it also made me reflect alot about myself..i begin to see that i have often held on too tightly about everything in life and sometimes the more i hold on to it, the more i lose my grip on it...lose sight of it..

life and its purpose, i think its too huge a task for me to take on but all i can do is to live each day to my best, i shall leave the rest to my almighty God :)

godliness with contentment is great gain

2010-02-02T14:08:00.004+08:00

Cupcakes loves :)

Aint it cute :) this is random but just sharing some sweet stuff i happen to see online. Maybe u can consider buying some cupcakes for valentine's day or bday ay... :)

Cupcakes are from - http://www.sweetestmoments.com.sg/default.aspx

2010-01-28T14:46:00.001+08:00

A sweet & funny video :)

2010-01-28T14:00:00.000+08:00

HELOO 2010!

With much anticipation i entered this year, however the year kinda started a lil bumpy note for me..with many things happening in my family,relationship strains but i pray and believe that this year gonna be my best year yet for me and for u too!
Its only the first month so i know whatever the devil may plan to wanna hinder and stop me, i'm not giving up but will fight on!

I don't know how has ur year been thus far, if its good then thank God ay!
If its kinda bumpy like mine, hey hang in there! Arise trooper! Let's believe and fight on yea:)

With God nothing is impossible!

In love & prayer,
Maddie

2009-11-23T15:16:00.005+08:00

Your destiny begins with your thoughts :)

Hope this post finds u well... :)been really busy with the upcoming musical i think i seldom find time to blog, one thing aft another, the year just gonna get busier & busier...

Its almost the end of 2009 as Christmas approaches...so have you fulfilled your new year resolutions 2009? :) I hope u have or are in the midst of doing so..if not, well get it going mate and end this year well!
It's still not too late to start now, at least its better than sitting around procrastinating...u're sure not going to get anything done that way.

This year has been an interesting one for me, i guess many things has caused to grow and look at life with a broader & newer perspective. At the end of it all, i just really feel so blessed & thankful for this one whole year of adventures God has brought me through, i stand tall because of HIM and i don't need more things, i just wanna draw closer to you Jesus :)

Till my next post finds u again...i hope u will be happy and be in good health :)

A lil' quote i read...hope u'll be encourage..

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes you DESTINY"

"anonymous"

2009-10-30T11:12:00.002+08:00

Highly excited!

i woke up this morning really HAPPY :) For months i wrote down on my lil prayer list by the left of my blog(yep u can see there) that i wanna learn guitar from poh..but nothing much was actually happening, i don't really know him personally to ask, that will be rude right..
But i just saw on fb that poh is actually opening a class for beginners, calling it the "zero to hero" hahaaa...yes, i'm the zero...hopefully i can turn into a frac of a guitar hero :) This can't be more timely, once again God u know my every thoughts and plan every steps of my way..
Another goal on my goal card down! This is such a great way to end my 2009.

*I am so excited!* :)

*bounce*

2009-10-30T01:07:00.002+08:00

i do not count...

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead
Phil 3:13

2009-10-28T11:48:00.009+08:00

For better & better?

For those who have ever attended a wedding ceremony, you would remember the vows that the couple have to say before they could exchange their wedding bands...

I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I give you my love.

"for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health..." With quite a number of people(or so i heard) ending their marriages and relationships around me, i can't help but to think, really what is the problem with this generation? Are we really like the BEP song that said

" this is a NOW generation, this is the generation NOW"

Always looking for the quickest way out, instantaneous solutions to everything in life..

I remembered and look at my parent's generation, no matter how life may have dealt unfairly to them, but seldom do you see them throwing in the towels and opting for divorce. So did we forget our vows, our promise we made to our spouses?

"for better, for worse..it ain't for better and better.."

We only want the good and the best out of our partners that when they fail or "fall short" of the standards we set for them, we think they are not suitable for us and we feel that we dig our own grave by marrying him/her. How ridiculous is that?! cos you must have failed to take a look at yourself in the mirror that morning.

Worse is define as: less effective or successful or desirable manner; something inferior in quality or condition

It would be foolish to think that our partners will always be the way we wish they could be since the day we met - (so caring & loving, not whiny, so full of kind words, bringing you out to nice dinners often,helping out with the kids, do the dishes, well the list goes on... ...you know what i mean)

Sometimes we fall short, we make mistakes(silly ones, major ones) we become undesirable, less successful or less effective in the eyes of our spouses, vice verses, but that doesn't mean the vow should not stand, the vow is so powerful such that every couple who wants to get married have to recite it like how we would recite the pledge to our nation.

The vow we would pledge to our spouse on our wedding day will never be tested until the day we go through a trial together, that's when we would know if its really "for better for worse" or sadly...just "for better and not for worse"...If that's the case, why say the vow in the first place...probably you made a decision to love and trust each other with your lives that in worse times, you would bite the bullet with each other and pull through no matter what... :)

Love covers a multitude of sins - imperfections, falling short,mistakes, failures...
Love, for better & for worse :)

2009-10-13T22:19:00.005+08:00

Define Success.

"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of one's self;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived -
This is to have succeeded."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson-

came across this very meaningful passage and was really encouraged by it..hope u will too! :)

2009-09-25T01:45:00.002+08:00

whats on my mind now?

Have been very busy with Children's day + musical stuff + work +studies..you can see in the order i wrote it, studies seems to be the least of my priorities when i shd be putting it first...hahaa..sigh...

i find little time to update my blog..well i love to cos have so many thoughts i wanna share and pen it...i will find time to update.

Well my current fave song is freedom by ccc which is why it made it to my blogsong list..this song speaks to me alot cos i find it very real and secretly i pray i can someday write songs like this :)

in the meantime pray fer us (in anything, for everything) as we have 2 more CD service to go! 10,000 children! the first 3 has been great by the grace of God :)

with this i sign off...

"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time."
No matter what circumstance yer in..u can Choose to be HAPPY!

2009-09-25T01:33:00.002+08:00

Freedom

If not for love
If not for grace
All the sin that you've erased
I will always have reason to praise

It's not by strength
It's not by might
But by the cross I'm justified
When all else falls away still I praise

It's for freedom that Christ has set us free
I live for you and not for me anymore
And your mercy is new with everyday
No longer will I forfeit grace
I'll follow you and live by faith

It's for freedom that Christ has set us free
I live for you and not for me anymore
And your mercy is new with everyday
No longer will I forfeit grace
I'll follow you and live by faith
You have made a way for us
When you died upon the cross

You have made a way for us
When you died upon the cross

If not for love
Where would I be
If not for love

If not for grace
Where would I be
If not for grace

If not for love
Where would I be
If not for love

- in His love alone i stand free -

2009-09-07T23:56:00.001+08:00

Men with good intentions make promises. Men with character keep them.
- A. R. Bernard

2009-08-26T13:26:00.002+08:00

Choose to live a life that matters! :)

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. it will not matter what you owned or what you owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do list will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from and what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin colour will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but you built, not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate you example.
What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when yer gone.
What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter us how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters!
[excerpted from "the secret to true happiness" by Joyce Meyer]

I have been reading this book by Joyce Meyer and been greatly enriched, blessed.
I realise the secret to true happiness sometimes is to choose to embrace every single day of our lives and enjoy them, enjoy the good and bad that comes along this ride of my life... :)

I thank God fer each day!

2009-08-16T23:26:00.002+08:00

Maddie (Whom Jesus Loved)

For Janelle(Whom Jesus Loved)

You hang the stars, Your Love makes them glow.
You care for the lillies, the sparrows You hold.
I open my eyes, Your mercies unfolded.
When i closed my eyes, there's one thing I know.

Jesus Loves me, He calls me His own.
Jesus Loves me, He makes me whole.
Jesus Loves me, Heart overflowed.
It is well, It is well with my soul.

You took all my pain, and carried Your cross.
You kept all my teardrops and shed them like Yours.
You felt all my grief on calvery's hill.
Your heart was so broken that I can be healed.

Tonight i will look to You, a broken and contrite heart you will not despise...hold me close as i lay my all before You tonight...really whom do i have in heaven but You and where can i go that You will not find me...

2009-08-14T10:42:00.004+08:00

Let Go and Let God

Have you ever come across those little messages in your facebook that says..on this day God wants you to know..well i think its very interesting what i get sometimes, take for example today:

Madeline got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...

... that it is time to finally forgive yourself.

You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has to come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about it.

i never gave much thoughts to all these msges before, sometimes not even bothered by it. But yet this was really an answer to my prayers last night..very interesting indeed... :)

HAPPY are the people whose God is the Lord!
Ps 144:15
(in the bible an exclamation mark speaks alot, they are literally shouting at the top of their lungs)

Yes, i am HAPPY, thank you God, u heard my cry!

2009-08-12T15:09:00.006+08:00

身外物

一段相处一张脸谱
生命延续靠别人记住
入伍退伍都有人哭
走或来你我都是单数

身体和财富裕都是身外物
都是暂时借来完成短促的演出
人类是租户爱却是礼物
哪怕物归原主爱也不会结束

越想填补越不清楚
有些梦会铀扰了脚步
谁比较苦谁认了输
反正命运只有这条路

身体和财富裕都是身外物
都是暂时借来完成短促的演出
人类是租户爱却是礼物
哪怕物归原主

留下来不能改
是种浅浅的思念好深的情怀
生命色彩

Love is a gift.... :)

2009-08-12T00:13:00.003+08:00

Our God is good and He will deliver us

So shall they fear
The name of the LORD from the west,
And His glory from the rising of the sun;
When the enemy comes in like a flood,
The Spirit of the LORD will lift up a standard against him.

Isaiah 59:19(NKJV)

2009-08-10T15:50:00.005+08:00

Prayer changes things

And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?
Matt 7:3(NKJV)

if there's one thing i ought to do, i know i need to pray even more and speak lesser..the bible says "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help."
Sometimes the line between sharing and gossiping is very thin and its really a gray area, we may not even realize when we have crossed that line...well i guess i will chose to be safe and "gossip" to God then and know that His sovereign hands are moving when i pray :)

One Who Knows Much Says Little
Friends love through all kinds of weather,
and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.
Pro 17:17(MSG)

2009-08-07T10:32:00.002+08:00

Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Feel what they're feeling. Understanding n wisdom follow.

Phil Pringle

In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise.

Proverbs 10:19

Above all, i stand upon the word of God.
I don't need more words...

2009-08-06T12:35:00.002+08:00

His thoughts towards me :)

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jer 29:11 (NIV)

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Jer 29:11 (MSG)

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jer 29:11 (NKJV)

i am amazed...

2009-08-05T08:50:00.003+08:00

self-reflection is better than self-denial

i realized i may not understand the many things that are happening but i decided that i ought to simply trust in God. Yes it sounds as simple as i type, to simply trust..but it really does takes a lot to do that...to trust i would have to lay down my right over my life and give this right to God...He now takes over the wheel and i simply follow cos i trust in Him.

i think the most normal human instinct when we feel that we are in danger/encaved is to start finding the blame and pointing fingers...i think if i am still sane enough, i would really not want to commit this mistake but would rather examine and reflect upon myself and choose to see the good in all these things. That which was started out in love should also end in love...

But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.
Colossians 3:14

:)

2009-08-03T11:17:00.003+08:00

God speaks through many ways and medium...

THE GOODNESS OF GOD - Pst Kong Daily Devotion

3 Aug 2009

That the sharing of your faith may become effective by the acknowledgment of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. Philemon 6

There are two basic approaches to life that we can choose as believers. You can choose to live by faith, or you can choose to live by fear. Although Job was the wealthiest man in his time, he was very much a pessimist! Job 3:25 “For the thing I greatly feared has come upon me, and what I dreaded has happened to me.” Do you know anybody like that? They set themselves up negatively. They focus on what they don’t want, not what they want. Result? They become a victim of a “self-fulfilling prophecy.”

How do we stay positive in every circumstance of our lives? The key is to acknowledge the goodness of God in all things. There are four things you can do to stay optimistic:

(1) Start your day with faith. Studies have shown that the first 10 minutes of your day sets the tone for the rest of your day. Psalm 5:3 says, “My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up.” David begins his day by acknowledging God’s presence in His life. Begin your day by reading the Bible and praying to God. Start your day right by declaring, “This is the day the LORD has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it” (Ps. 118:24).

(2) Look for the positive in every situation. Romans 8:28 tells us that God specializes in bringing good out of bad. No matter what situation you are in, you can be optimistic. Thomas Edison was 67 years old when a great fire burned down his famous laboratory in New Jersey. Not did he lose millions of dollars worth of equipment, he also lost the records to most of his life’s work. The next morning, he walked out among the charred embers and said, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” Remember that things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out.

(3) Give your worries to God. In Luke 12:22, Jesus gave a strong command, “Do not worry!” What you focus on in life will be magnified. If you focus on a problem, and start worrying about it, that problem will be magnified. But if you focus on God, His promises to you and how you can be an overcomer through Him, your problems will look small. So instead of worrying, pray and focus on the victory you can have in Christ Jesus.

(4) Remember your future is blessed. You must acknowledge constantly that your future is blessed! Jeremiah prophesied to God’s people, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jer. 29:11)

2009-08-02T22:40:00.003+08:00

A good read is like medicine

whether you're in a relationship or not in a relationship. i think these 2 books will help women to get a good understanding and christian perspective on what we can do to build our love relationship.

its definitely worth investing time to your relationship, cos it makes the difference of a heaven on earth or living hell here :)

a great encouragement, eye opener with many insights to better help us woman in our relationship with our (future)spouse. enjoy!

2009-08-02T20:54:00.002+08:00

if its hard to swallow, spit it out.

2009-07-29T01:59:00.002+08:00

i am so not perfect but You are...

not exactly in my best element, should i be very honest to share in this open private space of mine.

above all things i conclude love is not selfish at all, it gives and should be unconditioned. i have been dealt with more grace than i ever deserve but i have not truly grasp the idea of it all...

did i fail, maybe. But i just know i have loved and it is enough.

one last thing and the only right thing to do is to give back love.

The Giver follows this rule: Do whatever you can to make the other person happy and avoid anything that makes the other person unhappy, even if it makes you unhappy.
[excerpted from "fall in love.stay in love"]

the way i end determines how i will begin, i shall end being a Giver :)

2009-07-28T12:48:00.000+08:00

Wise words

It is easier to resolve a conflict than to dissolve a relationship

2009-07-26T23:06:00.002+08:00

happiness: a way of travel :)

Leaving it all behind
i am stepping into my now
breathing the air of freedom
saved by His grace and everlasting love

2009-07-22T16:34:00.005+08:00

simple stuff :)

had a great time at opm last nite, though i was coughing like crazy but i was glad i stayed on and i simply love and enjoyed the presence of God in that place.
we prayed, we shared, we loved.. simple as that..and i feel closer to the singers as we pray tgt.. :) prayer does connect ppl tgt...

For those who trivial on, proud of u all... :)

also met with june and james(yeah!!) at starbucks ytd..its really nice to laugh tgt and catch-up on all the stuff that are happening in our lives.. :) haa..really happie that ur studies will be over soon in another 6 mths time james..

In life, we just have to put our heart out and live it as it come...life may seems complex but live simple and learn to enjoy the ride.

To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
George Macdonald

Do you love me because I'm beautiful,
or am I am beautiful because you love me?
Oscar Hammerstein

2009-07-21T11:58:00.004+08:00

My "paradise fall" :)

if you watch the movie "UP", Eillie & Carl always dreamt of building their home at the top of paradise fall and it was this dream that made Carl to fly the hse all the way there on balloons after Eillie died...i also have my little paradise fall :) hopefully someday i can go there with my "carl"..its simply beautiful and i really longed for a break...

Aleenta Phuket

the rooms all overlook the ocean...

Came across this quote...

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages"

keep the friendship strong, you keep the relationship going :)

2009-07-17T13:26:00.002+08:00

Excuses

People with integrity do what they say they are going to do. Others have excuses.
Laura Schlessinger

Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.
Don Wilder

2009-07-15T23:44:00.003+08:00

Amazing Grace(My Chains Are Gone) - Chris Tomlin

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

2009-07-12T20:50:00.004+08:00

i wanna be a History Maker :)

A term that seems maybe very cliche to some but i think i like how Martin Smith says it...

Being a history maker is all about the choices you make, not about the songs you sing
About staying married to the person you promise to be with
Its about honoring your friends before yourself and its about walking humbly before the
King of kings

"Only those with clean hands and pure heart shall ascend the hill of the Lord."

Who can climb Mount God? Who can scale the holy north-face?
Only the clean-handed, only the pure-hearted;
Men who won't cheat, women who won't seduce.

God is at their side; with God's help they make it.
This, Jacob, is what happens
to God-seekers, God-questers.

Ps 24:4-6(The Message)

2009-07-11T11:29:00.002+08:00

The greatest gift

Love suffers long and is kind;
love does not envy;
love does not parade itself,
is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely,
does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never fails.
But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

even when the world walks out on me, i know YOU would walk right in

2009-07-11T01:20:00.002+08:00

i surrender all...

In the quietness of tonight
when everything else grow silent

Alone with just You and me
No depth or height can separate me
From you now

Saved me from this mess
enter you rest
You gave me a reason to believe
to fight and never walk away

my First love my salvation
hear this heartcry of mine
i can't help falling in love with you Jesus
i can't help falling in love with you Jesus

11th July 2009

2009-07-09T13:00:00.003+08:00

Things i want to accomplish before this year ends...

1. Write 2 songs (1 praise, 1 worship)

2. Go on a roadtrip! woo-hoo~ (ideal: Japan. Closest to ideal: Bintan)

3. Yes finish reading my entire bible...

4. Start learning basic guitar...haa all over again..must persist this time man...

i do have alot more goals that i wrote for this year..abt 1/3 were accomplished, thank God! These are just the more impt ones that i think i need to speak it into existence :)

2009-07-09T01:35:00.002+08:00

It does make a difference

what makes a difference? praying makes a whole lot of difference

the verse "your peace that surpasses all understanding" is what i am feelin now..and moments ago i will nv be feelin so at peace with everything thats comin my way. The difference is because i prayed.

Sometimes we try to sort things out by thinking it through, discussions, meetings and more meetings but what you should really do is to lock the door, get down on our knees and pray.

As simple as that, pray until you feel a release, breakthrough, an answer(or maybe not an answer cos God may not give us an answer all the time) a peace to your problems, frustrations...

Persistence will take you where your talents cant.
Persist in prayer and you will go where your own abilities cant.

2009-07-08T00:57:00.003+08:00

My current blogsong - No boundaries by Kris Allen

Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever if you feel you’ve lost your way
What if your chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
to fight and never walk away

Coz here I am still holding on

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe

You’ll make it through the pain (or through all your aches and pains)
Weather the hurricane
To get to that one thing

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries

I fought to the end to stand on the edge
What if today is as good it gets
Don’t know where the future’s headed
Nothings gonna bring me down

I’ve jumped every bridge and I’ve run every line
I’ve risked being saved but I always knew why
I always knew why

So here I am still holding on
Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe

You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane
To get to that one thing

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule coz there’s nothing between you
and your dreams

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe
Yeah…

There are no boundaries
Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe
You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane
There are no boundaries

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music
Aldous Huxley

2009-07-06T23:56:00.004+08:00

Colour my world once more

Had a very satisfying day...and pretty happy actually cos i found my love for painting back again :)

2 reasons why i love painting: first is because i enjoy the end result of my own creation, second is when i paint i feel it cures me...its like a therapy session with the colours and brushes, when i paint it clears my mind...in the 4-5 hrs i focus on just my painting alone...at the end of it, i really feel much better, more peaceful, a happier person :)

At the beginning of this year, i wrote on my goal card that i will paint again this year, at least 1 artwork, then months down the road, one day adriel just blessed me with 2 canvas, some paints & brushes...i don't believe in coincidences so i think God remember what i wrote down for this year...So 1 more thing accomplish on my goal card i guess... :)

if i look beyond the sky, i would know how minute i am compared to everything else...

2009-07-06T17:42:00.005+08:00

My music-experiences

Was thinking about song writing on saturday after i came out of the washroom and a thought just came to me, will it matter to me if for the rest of my life...this is what i will do, faithfully i have to serve here in children church...i think for a bit and a string of lyrics just pop in my mind...no "i don't need any reasons to follow after you"...that was my answer to God...doesn't matter where i am, it does matter where You are.

It was an amazing 3-4 mins of silence, but my mind was just flush with many thoughts..and follow after was the composing of a song...

I begin to think that sometimes there must be a reason why creative people will go through more stuff than most people..

King david who composed all the psalms in the bible went through hell..he committed adultry and was later on pursued by his enemies..but yet he can be dubbed as the top composer of his times...writing the most heartfelt psalm in his lowest point in life...

Then i look at people ard, they really went through tough times in their lives that no one will see or know, only God and themselves but because of those experiences they went through, they wrote the most beautiful songs that we sing in church today...

Not that God would purposely made our lives harder or what but i think its our make-up...we can be eccentric, more emotional, expressive than most ppl, or quieter than most ppl..we tend to go with our heart, feel which is why creative ppl really need God so that our heart & what we feel are align with the word...and i think sometimes we go thru more than usual so that our experiences can be turn into our creative expressions through songs, melodies, play, musicals, dance and so on...

Experience teaches only the teachable
Aldous Huxley

2009-06-30T15:36:00.002+08:00

2 donuts, 1 potato chips and a biscuit.

musing over these 3 items...what should i do with them? :)

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

2009-06-27T01:15:00.007+08:00

A true legend you will always be...

Michael Joseph Jackson
August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

2009-06-24T18:40:00.006+08:00

Jon & Kate, go for counselling and get help!

Its just sad to know that my favourite reality TV show Jon & Kate has decided to file for divorce. Sigh...If i am in their position, i would probably wish i were never in the limelight because it has somehow put unnecessary pressure on their marriage...yet looking at those 8 adorable kids, its sad they have to grow up without a complete family :( Get help Jon & Kate!

2009-06-24T00:11:00.004+08:00

Every experience is a lesson :)

My idol journey ended at the 2nd round of auditions, yea to be honest i felt abit disappointed and sad, surely will be when u get rejected right? But i wasn't very very sad about not getting in and all, kinda feel chill bout the whole thing...

Then i begin to ask myself "what have i learn out of this?" and as the day drew to an end...the idea of being rejected sink in and i felt lousy about myself and even thought i am such a bad singer...

But are these the truth? i could continue to wallow in this small defeat or simply shut that thought up and move on. i chose the latter.

My revelation out of this whole experience is "i need to be secure in my calling in God!" These are not going to change anything or mean anything, my calling in God remains the same and nothing will shake that or take it away from me :)

I think i sort of needed this revelation and i am thankful to realise it, because knowing where you stand before man in one thing but when you know where you stand before God, nothing else really matters anymore. When you are secure with where and who u are before God, u wont keep thinking why am i not doing these, why is he/she doing that and i am not?? why God why??...

Sometimes it could be thats not part of your calling...

At the end of the day, i will stand and say i live with no regrets and also learn what it means to be secure in my calling... :)

God waste no experience we go through... :)

2009-06-24T00:08:00.001+08:00

My current blog song

There was a time I packed my dreams away.
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.

There was a time when I was so afraid.
I thought I'd reached the end,
But baby that was then
I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around
I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I have to decide,
Was I gonna play it safe.
Or look somewhere deep in side,
Try to turn the tide,
And find the strength to take that step of faith.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around
I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

And I have the courage like never before, yeah.
I've settled for less now I'm ready for more,
Ready for more.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I'm living in the moment
I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.
This is my now.

2009-06-10T00:52:00.002+08:00

Exam's Over! Party begins..haa :)

Yea finally the long awaited day has arrived...My ordeal officially ended as the clock strike 1 :)

I am now very sleep-deprived...hahah yes... :( so i am not going to blog for long..i need slp..
Aft the paper today i went for lunch at astons cathay with my sch mates, they are all very nice ppl and i thank God for bringin friends to me..deep down i do believe there is a reason why our paths will cross :) tsk!

In the evenin i went for drama workshop hosted by talentz.inc, it was very very good and i really learnt alot and like a sponge, i try to absorp as much as i can haa...Faith is a very good trainer i must say...

8 more days to bday... lookin forward :)

Good nite!

2009-06-08T00:23:00.006+08:00

My "Blue" Ticket!

Thank God! :)

2009-06-07T10:52:00.002+08:00

i cant believe myself...

cant believe i am going back to queue for SI...again...thankfully they gave us all a time-slot

i'm just gonna be positive and hope that i can get thru it...good weather pls.. :)

let it end early! i wanna go home and study! :)

2009-06-04T22:12:00.003+08:00

I need more time and quicken my revision! :)

yes, i need to quicken my revision cos the clock is tickin away...ahh...

been studying since afternoon but it has been slow moving with progress but slow...its stressing me out literally..Faster mad faster..

i am really contemplating about Sat idol auditions..shd i go cos i rather study then to queue with the hundreds of ppl..i mean, i prayed and felt i shd give it a shot but the thought of going overnight to queue is well...not to my liking, to whos anyways?? haha...

Okie, i am going off now...back to my notes...and more studying tmr morning again...haa..

I can do it! Cheer for me and of course your prayers for me are most welcome! :)

You can pray for:
-Understanding for econs & maths
-Good memory
-Wisdom

2009-06-04T12:43:00.002+08:00

Be Thankful

I thank God that in my imperfections, i know i don't have to crumble under my circumstances because He is perfect and in Him i am made perfect :)

I thank God for my family who are walking in good health and working hard despite the economic downturn because they all have a job.

I thank God that i am able to study because i am working towards a better future

I thank God for everyday that i can jump around and be crazy because i am not sick but strong and happy :))

I thank God for each Saturday that i have to wake up early to serve in cch because He has blessed me with a wonderful voice to sing so i am able to serve

I thank God for friends in my life who are different from me because in that way i can learn to step out of my comfort zone and reaches out to people

I thank God for my leaders(past and present) who scolded me/taught me/disciple me because they made me a better person and i will not be here without them

I thank God for Veroy and the quarrels we have because it made us understand each other better and we learn to compromise and live with each other differences. i love u :)

I thank God that i was born into this generation, not before or after, because i am going to make the largest impact and change to my society!

In everything, give thanks

2009-06-02T12:17:00.003+08:00

I need to feel well again :)

Been feeling sick and unwell since Sunday...feeling quite spacey now maybe due to the cough syrup i took... :( i need to feel well again soon otherwise its so hard for me to concentrate on my revision :)

Pray for me, i really need grace for my paper. I really gotta just bash thru, pass it and avoid the 3 yrs study. :)

Before i leave, just wanna share a word that i read last night that inspired me:

"Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who love another has fulfilled the law."

"Love does no harm to a neighbour; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law"

Rom 13:8,10

2009-06-01T00:46:00.002+08:00

What should i do?

In life you have to make many choices and decisions over career, family, friends, partnership..list goes on..

Well sometimes, being a christian makes these decisions slightly more difficult..not that i have to choose another thing over God, He wins hands down for sure, i know who and what is the most important in my life and what are my priorities, God is definitely 1st.

The tough part that's biting on me is what will people perceive us Christians when we make these decision..the struggle between shining for God and being a testimony steps in. A part of me knows God is always first yet a part of me is asking so what will people think of God through me and the decisions i make in life?

i also need an answer and i know i will find it when i pray...

Good night, i am so tired again tonight...had work today =| stood the whole day, i am dead beat... :)

2009-05-31T11:05:00.005+08:00

So proud of u :)

I am very proud of Veroy, not just for the fact that He is serving God fervently and walking in where God has place him. There is one thing i like about him which i always fail to have, he always chooses to see things from the most positive aspect while me, most of the time, i tend to be negative.

Well, he balances me :)
Gonna miss him again cos he is leaving for the bbg camp in Bintan... :(

Bye, i am preparing to go off to work :)

2009-05-30T23:52:00.002+08:00

Follow my heart

Learnt a lesson today "always follow what i sense and feel in my heart" and be decisive...

God help me to be more sensitive and lean upon u more :)

Good night...very tired...

2009-05-30T01:29:00.002+08:00

My God is amazing...

i feel very very blessed by the bs tonight, my heart just feel so light (if u know what i mean) i feel free and experience the real liberty in God.

Thank u God, i am so speechless since just now...u know why for sure :) You really did came in such an amazing and powerful way i was overwhelmed by You.

So draw me away once again i pray...tonight :) i desire more of your presence..

2009-05-28T01:00:00.009+08:00

I have not arrive... :)

Ever since Pst Kong started the BS on Romans, i have also been doing my bible reading on this book and i feel really very encourage each time i pick up my bible and read...i just think its really amazing how God works, He indeed surprises us and as always...He's many many steps ahead of us...

The night before i went for the session with pst, i was feelin kinda down and i find myself asking God to teach me & show me how i should live my life cos i felt discouraged and wondering am i not walking in my destiny? Then why does everything ahead looks so unsure..

Have i made the right decision to stay i asked myself? I decided not to further my studies overseas because i felt God telling me to reconsider my decision to go overseas when i was in Indonesia for a mission trip, after praying over this decision when i return back to singapore, i decided that i should stay...

But sometimes i will be hit by this nagging thought...have i heard wrongly? maybe i shd have left?

Then there in that 1st chapter the word of God just spoke very clearly to me - FAITH & OBEDIENCE.

Yes, we are God's bondservant and many times a servant don't need to know everything that the master had planned or what he has in mind. All that is require to make a good servant is faithfulness and obedience. To be faithful to the master and simply obey the things He has ask me to do and not wavering...i knew at that point that indeed i have made the right decision and i was once again affirm in that decision and my faith in God :)

I like what Pst K taught in SOT - "We always think the shortest way to get between 2 points is a straight line but God does not think that way. Where we want to go, God will bring us there but in what manner, God will decide"

I Madeline, a bondservant of Jesus Christ :)

2009-05-26T21:25:00.002+08:00

Home Sweet Home by Carrie Underwood - My Current Blog Song

You Know I’m A Dreamer
But My Heart’s Of Gold
I Had To Run Away High
So I Wouldn’t Come Home Low
Just When Things Went Right
It Doesn’t Mean They Were Always Wrong
Just Take This Song
And You’ll Never Feel
Left All Alone

Take Me To Your Heart
Feel Me In Your Bones
Just One More Night
And I’m Comin’ Off This
Long & Winding Road

I’m On My Way
Well, I’m On My Way
Home Sweet Home
Tonight, Tonight
I’m On My Way
I’m On My Way
Home Sweet Home

You Know That I Seem
To Make Romantic Dreams
Up In Lights, Fallin’ Off
The Silver Screen

My Hearts Like An Open Book
For The Whole World To Read
Sometimes Nothing
Keeps Me Together
At The Seams

I’m On My Way
Well, I’m On My Way
Home Sweet Home
Tonight, Tonight
I’m On My Way
Just Set Me Free
Home Sweet Home

Uhmmm, I’m On My Way, Yeah
I’m On My Way
Home Sweet Home

Yeah…, I’m On My Way
Just Set Me Free
Home Sweet Home

2009-05-25T14:50:00.004+08:00

In a nutshell

Very busy & tired... :) but happy

i started my part-time work at banana republic cos i wanna fulfill my BF, gotta keep my word to God ya..

So its quite tiring, standing for like 8 hrs straight... :( my legs ached at the end of each workin day..

Plus i have school almost everyday cos exams are drawing nearer...the math bridging is really tough, i mean i will try to do it to the best of my ability :) if really i didn't mk it thru, that wld mean i have to do it in my foundation yr, i.e.: i have to study 3 yrs instead of 2.. (no i pray i can pass!)

Alot of thoughts going thru my mind sometimes, u know i am really weak in people relationship but i try my best to engage, however sometimes i will just draw back when i sense danger..hmm..trying to change this part and i think now i am much better than last time, i was a total inward creature la...haah...

Sometimes it bothers me to know that certain relationships are becoming strain and i feel pretty helpless but all i can do is pray and encourage myself by saying "be real and kind no matter what, u love God and thats all that matters..." Its really tough cos we work together so closely and there's bound to be conflicts which i really really really(u really dun know how much i hate conflicts) hate it.
I dont like to offend people and i try to be neutral abt many things unless on issues that is very important to me. I just dont like the feeling that someone is not very please with me, not that i am trying to please everyone in my life but i like to maintain good relationship with everyone in general..

What can i do?

Pray and move on.

There is nothing i can do..cos we are all being very human, they are not perfect and neither am i, i am super far from perfection...i won't hold it to them and of cos i pray people won't hold it against me too :)

Romans 5:3-5

There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

2009-05-14T01:09:00.004+08:00

My dream is to build a candy empire!

haa yep strange as u may think..me with a candy shop?

i mean i grew up my whole life in a candy shop, the first thing i used to eat in the morning as a kid was those sweet gum that has a cat logo and tatoo thingy(back when it was allowed in sg)...i have always been surrounded by sweets, chocolates and chips...to say i have endless supplies is a understatement..

Well i think i have always wanted to do something with business, my dad runs his own business all his life and i probably took some of his genes on that.

I just want to create a place where people are happy and they may come in feeling down but will walk out feeling happy..how ? i really dont know but that is something i wanna create and its a dream. Quite a big dream you know but doesn't everything starts from a simple dream?

Whats yours? :)

2009-05-13T00:20:00.002+08:00

I like my life to be organized :)

i take pride in being organized in the way i do things..i like to categorized things and give a schedule to the things i do, finances are recorded and i have a folder for almost everything in my life in my computer :) yea i love it..and love seeing things being organize...

anws, happy that i finally got down to revision today and well it was a good start. I am like 3 weeks away from exams and i really wanna pass it so i dont have to do my 1st yr and i can just whilst into yr 2..oh God i really need ur help..math is so gonna kill me as i was reading through the notes today, i have totally no idea how i am going do it, i believe somehow i will and i can pass maths.

hopeful :)

2009-05-11T17:44:00.002+08:00

Monday Blues?

Hmm i had a terrific long weekend and felt absolutely great! :)

Fri we went to watch x-men:wolverin with(javius,regina,bob) aft our vocal lesson and man its action packed packed packed..its all bam,move,woosh. There was never a dull moment so catch it while its still on and by the way only GV cinemas have it, how sad :( i like cathay..

The best part is we dont need to watch up early cos it was COTM week for the children so it was a blessing in disguise for us ...it was a fun nite out!

Sat was mother's day dinner with veroy's family @ the singapore recreational club...erm..it was not a very good one..the food was alright and we were sorely disappointed..well ice-cream with veroy after that made up for it.. :)

Sun..was my secondary sch mate wedding..i think we spend almost half of our day there..well we didnt knw that we could go later so yup...still happy for them :)
Then veroy and me went to the Zouk flea and easy, woo..lots of cool things u can find there and the ppl all dressed with lotsa of personality..haa..we both got some stuff..veroy got a t-shirt at 10buck and i got a very nice dress for only 15bucks!! whee..

Ended our sun with sakae dinner! :)) double thumbs-up

Bye long weekend :)

i am off to school...

2009-05-08T00:48:00.008+08:00

This is so nice u just have to watch/listen to it peeps :)

Love it.love it.love it :)

*show some support - http://www.jonschmidt.com*

2009-05-07T02:10:00.002+08:00

School's getting tougher

Yeps the lessons are getting harder to understand by the day and sometimes i really struggle thru...but in the midst of it all i think i am thankful for friends who are a great help..extra notes, books to read to fare better..its heartening..

Thank God for nice people!

2009-05-06T00:07:00.003+08:00

Wee~ i am having more fun than ever with blogspot! :)

haha i am having alot of fun now than i have switch over to the new blogspot template...shd have done that long ago..

Anws i went to this new facial place and had a try-out..i found it to be pretty good and i think the beautician was quite skillful & gentle...Now i feel my skin is breathing literally :) Will go bk again then.

Its called Skin Revival (haha such a spiritual name)

U can chk them out! http://skinrevival.com.sg/sr/

By the way my current blog song is Love Story by Taylor Swift. Love it! :)

2009-05-05T18:31:00.003+08:00

i really do not like the show " the price is right"

when i watch it i feel that its a very very typical american dream kinda show where ppl awaits their chance to have a go at a windfall...

I always cringes at the sight of ppl running down hysterically when their names are called...it just feels so wrong and weird this show...

Sigh, its just so american, always trust em to come out with a show like that and so 80s...it time to CAN it... :x

hahaha...just some random thots... :)

2009-05-01T23:17:00.003+08:00

It was quite a gd day but i think my SE is gettin lower by the day...words and things..

without realising...have always been one who's nv down bcos of issues like these but now i find myself questionin my self constantly...doubting me..

Need to pray to get a clearer picture :)

As long as i know i am always the apple of your eyes God :) its enough.

2009-05-01T22:25:00.004+08:00

My simple revelation abt praying

i had a simple revelation abt prayer and it has change the way i look at it.

If u have been in a relationship or are in a relationship i think u will understand what i mean better, nonetheless i still think u can get this..

Many times when i pray, i always tell myself it is my duty as a christian to pray because prayer is part of a discipline of a christian just like reading our bible...so aft a while, sometimes i will find myself in a routine when i pray..it become dry and it doesnt motivate me to do ...but i got to keep finding back the momentum to do so

Then one day it dawn upon me that prayer is like talking to your love one(spouse/partner), when u love somebody u wld always wanna talk to him/her, u just cant get enough but sometimes due to our busyness, our conversation with our spouse/partner gets routine. It becomes like ok at this time of the day i have to call him/her because thats what he/she wants...then the passion is taken out of the picture..it become mundane and after a while dry...i would nv want my partner to feel a chore to talk to me or be compel to speak to me at a particular time of the day

Similarly, i begin to feel how God must have felt when i come before him and in my heart i am just doing a duty...as much as i dont like it being done on me, i think God also didnt really like it, he probably wld rather i not pray to him that day...

We are always looking for enthusiasiam in people when they speak to us, same for God i think, he is always looking if we are enthusiastic when we speak to him. Just like how we feel turnoff when ppl talk to us and feeling so unwilling..in my own opinion i think God feel turnoff too...

After putting myself in that position, i begin to think that actually i can pray anytime/anywhere because its all abt talkin to God. Praying is talking right? When i am really excited abt something i wont wait till a few hrs later to tell someone, i want to tell them immediately. So it dawn upon me that we shd actually be constantly praying(talking to God) and its not like we need to dial a special number to Him...He is just there right beside us...we can have a open conversation with God every single moment of the day...we dont need to wait till 10pm everyday to talk to God..we converse the whole day

Thats just a simple revelation i had :)

2009-04-30T00:34:00.003+08:00

Smile and u will feel that the world is a better place :)

Sometimes how u view the world depends on which perspective you want to take

2009-04-29T00:15:00.000+08:00

Some names i will give to my kids next time... :)

Girls
Ally - Friend (a friend to all is nice)
Natalie - Born on christmas day
Natasha - Born on christmas day (i can only pray for twins u know...to have similar names for both...)
Taylor - tailor (meanin isn't very nice but i think its quite a cool name ..)
Charlotte - Free (yes to be free spirited is a gift)

wld love to give em middle names like.. love, joy, faith

Boys
Israel - wrestled with God (how cool ye!)
Nathan/Nate - He gave

i am bias, i have more girls than boys name...hahaha

2009-04-28T23:08:00.005+08:00

Tues u saved me! :)

i love tues cos i becomes a TV addict, i will be glued to the TV all the way..

CSI, cold case...whoo~ chase all the blues away...

In God i trust and He has the first place in my heart :)

2009-04-26T22:37:00.002+08:00

Have u just drop by?

Buzz me on my tagboard yea :)